me + music
It all started when I was 4 years old, competing with my cousins for the stage (the fireplace mantel). And yes, I am a Leo. I sang so much that my mom started encouraging me to make singing videos to Taylor Swift in front of our iMac that lived on the desk in between our living room and kitchen in the home I was raised in. From a very young age my older sister shared her taste in music with my younger brother and I, ranging from the Dave Matthew’s Band to the musical “Rent”, which both became staples in our household. My dad, a very talented singer, and all of his musically gifted brothers, were always in bands and performed throughout their lives. It runs in my blood. By age 8, I was singing Miley Cyrus’ “I Miss You” at my elementary school talent show while my uncle accompanied me on acoustic guitar. (See Video Here). From that point on, I was known as “the singer” in my family, in my school, and eventually my hometown of Middletown, New Jersey, forced to sing at every family gathering, school talent show, choir concert, and even friends' birthdays.
12 year old me performing at a ‘Rockit’ showcase
At age 10 I auditioned for a local music program called Rockit. I didn’t get in the first time around. I guess my rendition of “This is Me” from Camp Rock didn’t “wow” the directors. So, I tried again 4 months later, and that time, I got in. The first song I was assigned was “Hit The Lights” by Metallica, and if you’ve never heard it, well, I wouldn’t necessarily recommend it, but to each their own. I was thrown into a 5 person band with 17 year old emo-looking dudes who clearly enjoyed this type of music. I, on the other hand, was still listening to Demi Lovato and Hannah Montana.
Throughout my 6 years in Rockit, I performed a myriad of music from Corrine Bailey Rae to Chrisitina Aguilera to Led Zeppelin. I’m not going to sit here and tell you the story you want to hear. That I fell in love with music and the rest was history. To be honest, there were very real parts of me that hated it because it made me feel less “normal”. I was taking vocal lessons, guitar lessons, writing lessons, attending band practices, performing music I didn’t love, and (love you, Mom), feeling extremely pressured to want all of these things for myself. When in fact, I didn’t. I wanted to be a kid. On Friday nights when the other 13 year olds at my school were going ice skating, I was at band practice rehearsing songs by The Who or Boston. Looking back now, I definitely have a different perspective on that. Most of me did love it. I had amazing, and extremely talented friends, but when I went to school I felt out of place and well, middle school is rough. It wasn’t “cool” to be a musician. It was only cool to play a sport (which I did try, wasn’t for me). On top of that, I didn’t have much autonomy. I was in a music program where I had no control over what I was performing and who I was performing with (obviously I wanted to be placed into bands with my friends). And at home, there was constant tension surrounding music and what was expected of me (practicing for at least an hour each day after school, learning music theory, improving my songwriting skills, networking with the right people, etc, etc.). And I was performing often- at fairs, local festivals, weddings, private parties, bars, restaurants, you name it. All before the age of 13.
When I was 14, I fell in love with R&B. I had always loved artists like Rihanna and Eminem, but when I stumbled upon Kehlani’s The Way” and Kiana Lede’s soulful piano-led medleys on YouTube, something clicked. The melodies, harmonies, production, vocal runs, all of it, captured my attention in a way nothing ever had before. I connected to it, understood it and was utterly amazed. Ariana Grande has been the biggest vocal influence of mine since age 12 when I saw her first ever tour “The Honeymoon Sessions”. But as much as I loved her music, it didn’t hit the same as the hip-hop production behind Kehlani’s music. Throughout high school I decided to deep dive into new genres and artists and became obsessed. To name a few there was Tyler the Creator, Frank Ocean, The Grateful Dead, Amy Winehouse, Kendrick Lamar (name more). I also became, and still am, a very big fan of rappers (as a lot of us in 2016 did) like Lil Uzi, A Boogie, PNB Rock YoungBoy, etc.
Unfortunately, by age 16, I was so burnt out and exhausted from the years of internal and external battles revolving around music, that I decided to quit. I stopped vocal lessons, I quit the music program, I stopped performing, and pretty much gave up on all of it. Not because I wanted to, but because it felt like I had no other choice. Like it had to be my entire life or nothing at all. Between that and the drama taking place at home, I didn’t really know where to turn or who to turn to. My parents were dealing with their own issues and weren’t happy with my decision. So, I turned to partying and fitting in. I drank pretty heavily, fell victim to a vaping addiction, and experimented maybe more than I should have at such a young age. It came from a loss of identity. I was no longer “the singer”. So who was I? Did I matter anymore?
And then came SZA. It was just like when I first discovered Kehlani. It felt brand new. Like something I had never heard before and I was absolutely enamored. I was 16 and had no real concept of what she was singing about, but songs like “Broken Clocks”, “Normal Girl”, “Go Gina”, quite literally changed the trajectory of my music taste and to be dramatic, my life. But it wasn’t enough to get me back into music. I was dealing with some sort of mild PTSD because every time I attempted to pick up my guitar or write a song, I got knots in my stomach and couldn’t fathom it.
I ended up going to Florida Atlantic University in Boca Raton, Florida (yes, Ariana Grande’s hometown). I spent a lot of my time feeling confused. I went into school undecided and I had no idea what I wanted to do. At that point, music was just something from my past that I no longer identified with. I wanted nothing to do with it (but of course, I did. Only when I was alone). I met a boy within the first month of school and because I no longer had a real sense of self, he quickly occupied all of my time and mental space. So there was the start of my 4 years spent getting high, obsessing over a boy who didn’t treat me very well, and passing my classes thanks to a lot of adderall and microwaveable mac and cheese (never at the same time). As much as I enjoyed living 5 minutes from the beach, I felt out of place and was constantly drafting up new plans for myself. They all fell through. So I stuck it out and graduated with a Bachelor’s in Business Management - yay! Now I could go out and hunt for a corporate job and live a miserable life FOREVER! (No shade, it’s just simply not for me). And to be fair, I told my parents throughout college that I was absolutely not going to work in corporate. To which they would question what the hell else I was going to do.
“In My Dreams” Cover Art
Remember that boy that made my life a living hell? Yeah, in 2020 we started dating. We dated for 3 whole years. I loved him a lot and he loved me a lot. But it was never going to work. The relationship ended and birthed my first EP, “In My Dreams” which didn’t come out until 2 years post-breakup in October, 2025. But let’s rewind a bit. That breakup made me extremely depressed which led me to question my existence enough to get inspired again. My younger brother had also been learning to produce and seeing him love it so much and do it exactly his way, made it feel possible for me to do the same.
So after deciding to experiment with music, I was scrolling through Instagram reels and came across a video of a girl singing about her experience with the music industry. This individual’s name is Hailey Knox. Once again, right back to my first time hearing Kehlani and SZA, life changed. I sent her to every contact in my phone, blasted her on my IG stories, begged all of my friends to listen to her, because I was that impressed by her lyricism, her production, and her genuine authenticity. I felt seen after just one video. She wasn’t putting on a show or trying to impress, she was simply sharing with the world her raw talent. Her blend of r&b / hip-hop sound with her soft and angelic vocals all coming together in such a unique way. It brought my spark back.
So for the past 3 years I have been working on becoming a better songwriter. I won’t lie and say that since that day I haven’t left my room because I’m writing songs every day, forgetting to eat dinner. But I will tell you that over time, every day, I took small steps that led me where I am now. I made a last minute decision to pack up my car, drive from Florida to New Jersey, sell my car, find a roommate, and move to New York City. I’ve been here for a little over a year and have already met and collaborated with so many talented people. I’ve performed my EP on multiple stages and I’m continuing to set goals and follow through, on my terms.
There is rarely a day that goes by that I don’t create in some way even for just 30 minutes. I find the time and not because I feel forced or pressured or like it’s expected of me, but because it’s the one thing that gives me purpose and a reason to exist. Even if some days I feel like the worst songwriter on the planet, I don’t care anymore. I know that it’s the reason I’m here. I don’t regret anything that happened in my life. I don’t even regret taking 5 (precious) years off from music because ultimately, it brought me to this point. I got to experience life without it and I know without a shadow of a doubt that I will never live that way again.
And now here we are. You get to see where I go next. I am so much more than “the singer”. I am an artist, a songwriter, a movie lover, a sister, a daughter, a best friend, and so much more. And so are you. You can be all the versions of you that you’ve ever dreamed of. Come along. Take this Ride with Me ;)
Honorable influences of mine that weren’t named (in no particular order): HER, Merges, Nirvana, Bryson Tiller, Olivia Dean, Summer Walker, Justin Bieber, MkGee, Mac Demarco, Sabrina Carpenter, Daniel Caesar.
